There was beauty in the realization of the coming time to wash my hands clean of him. Distance really did a number on me and I stopped seeing his apologies as constellation prizes. All these days, I thought time was the enemy, when really it was the grounding under my feet. The grounding that helped me put the stretching miles of change and indifference between us. I am no longer the folded letter of useless words he tucks aside for a better time or the clouds covering his starlit sky.
I find warmth in this heartache. The heartache of coming to terms with being wrong all along. Warmth, like there’s someone else in the darkness with me. I am not alone here. I’ll place reason with doubt, and dwell in the fact that all this time, my logic has been nothing of that, but illogical. It took me an eternity to get untangled and I’m ready to stop running. He was the white picket fence, protecting me from the worlds pain and grief by the pain and grief he caused.
If it’s you, here in the darkness with me, stay put; let me find you.
I will step out of my pasts doorway and close the door behind me. The hunger is too great in me and I can’t continue hovering over something that refuses to hold me up any longer. I wont hold my breath for chance, anymore. And I will wait in this darkness, for tomorrow.