It’s been two years; right down to the day. And there isn’t a day that goes by, that I don’t think about what I would say to you, given the chance. Or what I would ask, if you were handing out answers. Time became more and more confusing, two years past, and I’m still left questioning.
I know I’m not the same person I was. I’m no longer who you knew. And if you were to find your way to my door step, here, two years later, I wouldn’t know you either. Is it that we’re changing? Or perhaps just that we’re forgetting? A past, something time has slowly watered down and let grow from its tiny seed, like it has any significance at all anymore, or like it ever did. But as everything left behind loses its force, it’ll be weeded out. And eventually it’ll slip from my mind almost completely, only to leave little bits of scrap that no longer fits together. And you will never be the person I loved, again.
Some days I see you. Only it’s never actually you. I can always feel the air around me get thicker, my lungs get tighter, and my heart rolls over in my chest. If you listen close enough, you can hear it scream from within. And in the time it takes me to catch my breath, I remember, I moved states away from you, for fresh air, to find peace. I gave up the stale taste of attempts at swallowing your holy apologies. As if you’d ever know anything of salvation.
In just two years, we’ve become worlds away, not only from each other, but from who we were.
You’re that dream within a dream, where I can’t quite picture your face, or hear how your voice sounds, but some how, I still know it’s you. It’s a bit un-nerving. I’ll never forgive what time has done to us, but I’ll start on the path to forgiving you; because I know you’re no longer who I once knew. And we can’t blame each other for growing up. And I’ll always remember, what I don’t let go of, drags me behind. And maybe some day, I can let go, without forgetting, of this heavy heart, my anchor, my tied kite, with your fading memory… And find my own wind, to take me home.